“Oh No No” List: Christa Edition

In light of Alex’s Oh No No list, I have decided to write my own. Some No Nos will be the same while others are all my own. My list is YEARS in the making and some are quite shallow while others have taken some real thought as of late. So without much further ado, here are Christa’s Oh No Nos when it comes to guys and dating:

1. Do not try to hit on me at a bar by starting an argument with me. Example: “You can’t be a hockey fan. You’re from the South, you’re not even from Pittsburgh, so you can’t even be a Penguins fan.” This is an Oh Hell No No. The quickest way for me to lose attraction is to be told that I’m wrong. Boy, please, if you want to talk hockey let’s talk hockey. I know my shit and I can carry a real conversation.

2. I may be shallow, but if it works, it will make me happy. I have come to the conclusion that I CAN NOT date anyone who is not as tall, or taller, than I am when I wear heels. I am 5’7/5’8 and even flat footed I am constantly receiving comments such as “wow, you’re really tall” and “you’re kinda tall.” So, you make these comments and you’re not getting anywhere with me, and truly you’re probably one of the guys that I won’t even look at for you to be able to make this statement.

3. I grew up in the south, went to undergrad in the south, and had to deal with southern frat boys.I’m sorry, but when you graduate from undergrad, you can not continue to wear your salmon colored polo, croakies, madras, and sperry’s/rainbows. If you do you had better have the non-douche attitude to go with it because this wardrobe will immediately send me in the opposite direction.

4. To agree with my co-blogger: If your legs are skinnier than mine and you look better in skinny jeans than I do, it’s just not going to happen. Hands down.

5. If you can’t drink whiskey, don’t like whiskey, or think I’m not feminine enough because I drink whiskey, you can just walk away. Whiskey is the nectar of the gods and if we can’t share that goodness then you are not worth my time. Harsh, I know, but true, nonetheless.

This felt mildly appropriate seeing as how I’m mentioning “all the small things” and because I love 90s music

6. Truly talking and having a real conversation about EVERYTHING. If you can not do this, it’s going to be difficult. I like to talk it out. Everything that crosses my mind. I sometimes don’t have a filter if I feel comfortable with you, so if you can’t handle that and can’t talk about your feelings and all the small shit with me, then we can’t talk. Or at least not seriously.

7. If we can’t share silly little quotes from shows like Parks and Rec and the Office and Arrested Development, then we can’t even be friends, let alone a couple.

8. This is more of a recent realization: I can’t date musicians. Period. I’ve tried, many times, and it always ends badly. If you play an instrument I’m going to be very leery of you unless you play a sport (specifically hockey) that is more important to you than your instrument, then I might be more accepting of you. But don’t lead off with the musician bit.

There may be more to add to this list as my bitterness towards the male species waxes or wanes. We’ll see. But right now, I can’t deviate from what’s above. It may seem shallow, but how else am I going to get what I want, and I don’t think these are too specific and narrow, but if they are then you’re just going to have to really impress me to get my attention.

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One thought on ““Oh No No” List: Christa Edition

  1. Pingback: A Male’s Oh No No List | Modern Material Culture

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