A Tribute to My Very First Mix CD
When I was in the mother land this past week I seized the opportunity to go through the box that houses all of my old mix CDs…and, boy, was this eye opening. I delved into this collection thinking I would just quickly grab a random stack of CDs for my drive back to Pittsburgh. Considering that most of the CDs aren’t accompanied with any sort of track list or title, unless its a generic label like ‘*~*~Alex’s Mix IIIV~*~*,’ I knew I was going to have some fun surprises coming my way. However, I was not prepared to be reacquainted with the first ever mix CD I ever owned. This little gem, wedged between copies of Miles Davis’ ‘Some Kind of Blue’ and Anoushka Shankar’s ‘Live at Carnegie Hall’ (she is the best ever sitar player, okay?!), was made for me when I was in 7th grade, during the year of 2001. The mix master of this compilation (shout out to DS, what up, gangsta?!) was one of the first people I personally knew to get a CD burner. Actually, given the way that everyone was hounding him for CDs, he might have been the first kid in the entire middle school to have one at the time. Times were changing rapidly. I was enamored by the notion that there were possibilities developing for listening to particular songs whenever you wanted. I was tired of sitting by the radio with blank cassette tapes and a tape recorder. For the most part, I also refused to buy a band or artist’s entire album. I mean, I was 12! For one, the absence of an income made a purchase of any kind tricky. And secondly, with my 10-second attention span I knew I would only listen to it for a week before getting bored. I really only wanted to listen to 1 of the 10 songs on the album anyway, for goodness sakes…
Still with me here? Lets recap. DSL/Cable Modem Internet access + rising popularity of P2P file sharing services [I.E., FREE MUSIC! (just kidding, RIAA, just kidding!!!)] + downfall of the cassette tape, rise of the CD + manufacturing of CD burners for ‘at-home’ use = RAP MUSIC
Don’t question my mathematical conclusion. If you weren’t listening to rap and r&b during the turn of the millennium, you were a huge loser. Up until the point of burned CDs, I was most definitely, by that standard, a loser. I still die from embarrassment when I think about how I was the only one who didn’t know all the words to Nelly’s “Country Grammar.” With CDs, I could make sure I knew every word to the bridge of Ludacris’ “Fantasy.” I was no longer going to be taunted by my crewmembers at middle school dances or DJed 13th birthday parties.
Before CD Burners & Mix CDs
Everyone else: “You don’t KNOW this song?!”
Me: “…um, no, of course I do…” [attempts to sing along, really is just mumbling nondescript words]
Me (in my mind): Sorry, asshole, put on some Van Morrison and I’ll SHOW you some lyric memorization!”
Me with everyone else: “I wanna, la la la lick you from yo head to yo toes…”
So, now that I’ve set that up with questionable accuracy, I guess its time. Time for me to introduce you to my first ever mix CD. I should probably note that the rest of this post contains adult material, expletives, and lots of talk about sexy time activities that aren’t even featured in 50 Shades of Grey. I still can’t believe we all listened to these songs when we were 13. How confusing for a bunch of hormonal pre-teens! I mean, we like to pick apart the effect “violent” rock music has on young people, but this is like a whole other issue. I still don’t think I’m mature enough to listen to these songs.
1. Sunshine Anderson – Heard It All Before
2. Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule – I’m Real (Murder Remix)
Seriously, what the h is Ja Rule doing these days?! Can anyone answer me that?!?
3. Wyclef Jean feat. Ecleftic & 11 – Perfect Gentleman
Call up my mama said I’m in love with a stripper yo!
I still love this song. Sure, it’s mostly about strippers, and it took me several years to understand what “ten grand” represented, but there’s something about a Wyclef song that I dig.
4. Jay-Z – Izzo (H.O.V.A.) [aka, “H to the Izzo”]
H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
Fo’ shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in VA
Fun facts: This song was produced by Kanye West, why had I never heard about him until 2006? The first verse regards Jay-Z’s early career as a drug dealer, second verse about struggles with the recording industry, and last verse is about childhood growing up in the Marcy Houses housing projects (Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood in Brooklyn). And only Jay would make up his own language called “-izzle.” H.O.V.A. is -izzle talk and refers to one of his nicknames, Jayhova. Word dawg.
5. Jagged Edge feat. Nelly – Where the Party At
6. P. Diddy ft. Black Rob & Mark Curry – Bad Boy for Life (Dirty)
We ain’t, go-in nowhere, we ain’t, goin nowhere
We can’t be stopped now, cause this bad boy for life
Yes those are cameos by Dave Navarro, Ben Stiller, Xzibit, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, Mike Tyson & Blink-182.
7. Missy Elliot ft. Ludacris and Trina – One Minute Man
8. 112 – Peaches ‘N Cream
Gettin’ freaky in my Bentley limousine
It’s even better when it’s with ice cream
Know what I mean
Oh, how catchy was this one. I loved it. And, again, had no idea at the time what ‘Peaches ‘N Cream’ was an innuendo for. Please read through the lyrics of this song. They are so dirty I just blushed when I read them and then threw up a little in my mouth.
9. Craig David – Fill Me In
10. Fabolous ft. Nate Dogg – Can’t Deny It
11. 112 – Its Over Now
12. Lil’ Rascals [aka Lil’ Bow Wow, Lil Wayne, Lil’ Zane & Sammie] – Hardball
I’m pretty sure this is the only song on this CD that does not describe a sexual activity in explicit detail. Thanks to my research on this song, I found out that Lil Wayne is only 29. How is that even possible? He looks like he’s 40 years old. So, that means that he was 18 when this song was recorded. Lil Bow Wow was 13, what a cutie.
13. Ludacris – Whats Your Fantasy
I wanna get you in the back seat windows up
That’s the way you like to fuck, clogged up fog alert
Rip the pants and rip the shirt, ruff sex make it hurt
In the garden all in the dirt
Every time I hear this song, I can still rap that whole bridge towards the end (see above for example). And usually I don’t actually listen to what I’m saying. I sure as hell didn’t know what the lyrics were actually describing when I was 12, and to be quite honest I still don’t know what all Ludacris is describing here. People are getting all up in arms about Fifty Shades “erotica,” while 12 year olds could recite all the words to a song that describes more sexual activities in 3 minutes than are described in 3 novels. Go figure.
14. Ludacris ft. Nate Dogg – Area Codes
It’s the abominable “O” man
Globe-trot international post man
Oh, Ludacris, you are just so good at these risque songs! You dog, you. Guess what “Area Codes” is about. Did you guess that its a song listing all the area codes that Ludy banged a woman in? 43 area codes by my count. The best part is that in this song’s Wikipedia article, they actually point out how this song “may be incomprehensible to future generations of listeners” because many of the area codes listed in the song have been changed in the past 10+ years to represent different geographical regions. God forbid that future generations of pre-teens can’t figure out where Ludacris spread his seed.
15. Trick Daddy – I’m A Thug
16. Mary J. Blige – Family Affair
Produced by Dr. Dre.
17. Blu Cantrell – Hit ’em Up Style (Oops!)
Carolina Chocolate Drops did it better, sorry Blu.